Giving birth is one of the most memorable moments of your life. Best to be sure the people you have in the room with you are supportive, caring and know you VERY WELL to say the least.
I always assumed my Mum would be in the room when i gave birth, however i never exactly asked her. Make sure you officially ask them the question! They will no doubt be patiently waiting for you to ask or explain who you want at your birth. (sorry about that one Mum haha)
My partner Sam was always going to be in the room. Although after hearing a story about a man explain that watching his wife give birth to a baby, was like watching his favourite pub burn down. I decided that Sam would be far away from the “business” end of birth. I certainly didn’t want to reserve front row seats for him to the baby show!
I had planned on being covered up during contractions and after ten minutes of stepping in the room i was naked from the waist down and situated in any position that took the pain away. Elegance and grace had certainly left the room at this point so do keep this in mind when you choose your birthing squad.
Most of all Sam and Mum know me inside out (no pun intended haha) and I knew they would be incredible support!
KNOW YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Do they know you like the back of your hand? Know how you deal with pain and how you deal with hard situations? What i mean is those who know you so well, they won’t need to ask questions but will instinctively know that when you turn your head or frown in a certain way they should back away or alternatively give you their hand to squeeze.
If your mother in law hasn’t yet seen you at your worst then inviting her into the birthing suite, where you will most likely call her very loved son every swear word known to exist is definitely not the best idea. Make sure your relationship is strong!
Make sure those you choose are supportive of your decisions and your birthing plan, or the fact that under any given circumstances those plans may need to change. The last thing you will need when you are in pain, feeling like you are literally going to die, is someone telling you that you can’t do something.
Will they hold your hair back while you vomit? Will they cater to your never ending thirst? Will they still be able to look you in the eye after seeing your vagina in a way that no one should see your vagina?
If you answered yes to any of these then it’s safe to say they will be supportive!
The birthing room can be fatiguing for all parties. A little morale can do wonders for the mother and can change all the energy in the room. Make sure that the people you choose to have by your side have total confidence in you and believe you can do whatever you put your mind to.
Fill the room up with believers!
ARE THEY STRONG
Are they prepared to witness blood, poop, vomit, stitches and possibly take a verbal bashing, all to see you birth a baby?
Labour is beautiful but lets be realistic, it’s not for the faint hearted and the last thing you need is someone being rushed to the emergency department because they couldn’t handle it. If they can’t handle any of the mentioned… then save the visit for post birth.
This is the basis of what i needed from my “birthing squad” and hopefully this helps you to choose your team wisely.